CLINICAL TRIAL
by deetatarant
Summary: Ianto seeks a cure for his night mares. SWEARING/ SEXUEL REFERENCES/ DRUG USE
1. Chapter 1

**THIS TAKES PLACE SEASON ONE TOWARDS THE END 'OF OUT OF TIME' AND BEFORE 'COMBAT'**

**IANTO SEEKS A CURE FOR HIS NIGHTMARES.**

**CLINICAL TRIALS**

'**All alone in the night'**

Ianto Jones carefully eased his arm out from under Jack's sleeping form. He quickly slid off the bunk they were sharing, dressed in efficient, well practised, silence and climbed up the ladder leaving the Hub like a ghost.

Aware of the movement and sudden lack of warmth beside him Jack turned over disappointed to discover that yet again Ianto had decided not to remain with him throughout the rest of the night.

Once in the solitude of his sparse flat Ianto stripped off his clothes and took a shower under scalding water, any thing to relieve the tension in his body. A towel at his waist he padded silently though his flat to the kitchen. In the dim light he poured a glass of water and slugged two sleeping tablets. He vaguely registered the fact that it was only 2:30 in the morning as he sank into his bed.

'**Darkness falls'**

The only sound was that of grinding metal. A high pitched whine that scratched into the very depths of his soul, a bone deep vibration that settled in his spine. It left his sweat soaked skin charged and tingling as he slowly moved forward brushing aside the sheets of blood streaked plastic that hung in his way. The stench of death clinging to him like cob webs. His every footstep agonisingly slow, leaden and silent accept for the gritty crunch of brittle bones under his shoes; each pace heavier than the last threatening to pull him down. Sparks flared and showered in his peripheral vision, dancing like fireflies in the dim light.

Suddenly she was there, inches away from his face, her countenance framed in silver metal, eyes wide with lust and hunger. He froze, aware of the cleaver at his throat.

"We are not compatible."

His heart broke as the cleaver cut into his veins.

Ianto awoke screaming like a feral animal.

'**Never The Right Time'**

Ianto sighed as he carefully zipped up the body bag. It never ceased to amaze him just how peaceful death looked. John Ellis so deeply troubled by his losses, by his displacement from his life and yet here he lay almost serene in death. Ianto remembered that look well, he had seen it so often over the years and it enabled him to almost believe that there just be might be something better on the other side. He picked up the clipboard aware that Jack was standing a short distance away in shocked silence. Ianto understood, he knew exactly what Jack was going through right now.

"Would you like some time?" He ventured gently.

Jack his face ashen just shook his head and turned away. Ianto closed and locked the mortuary draw adding John's body to the vast collection of corpses already housed there. It made Ianto shudder to think about it. He followed Jack at a respectful distance. _Some Christmas this was turning out to be._

Ianto went to the computer terminal on Gwen's desk and entered the details of John's death on to the case file and vaguely wondered how the two women who had come through time with John were faring. It wasn't that he cared particularly, Ianto had learnt not to care; these victims were lucky compared to most of the ones that came through the rift. Ianto knew he couldn't afford to start caring, he had made that mistake before and two people had died as a result. Some where along the line he had shut that part of himself down completely. Or so he liked to believe. There was no one left to care for anyway.

Having completed his task he logged off the computer and went to fetch his coat, all he wanted to do was get out, go home and most likely drink his way through the next couple of days, blot them out completely. It was the only way really. He went to the kitchenette to get Jack a mug of coffee. He wasn't even sure why. It irked him somewhat that he had fallen into some strange unconscious understanding of his bosses needs, whether it be coffee or sex. Some weird thing had fallen into place between them. Ianto did not understand it, didn't especially welcome it, but didn't want to let it go either. It was the only human contact he had these days. They talked more often than not. Sometimes all night about work, things that needed doing. Occasionally Jack would reminice about times past. He'd talk about the things he'd seen in the last hundred or so years, how Cardiff had changed. Sometimes he'd talk about more personal things, Estelle, Flat Holm Island and Ianto sat and listened, always his own comments minimal, reflective and deflective because he never opened up about himself. He considered that strange really when he had once demanded that Jack ask him about his life. Jack's gun had been in his face at the time. Ianto almost smiled to himself as he took the coffee up to Jack's office. Jack was sat hunched over his desk the stench of petrol fumes still clinging to him. Ianto sucked in a hesitant breath; he just wanted to go home. He placed the mug on Jack's desk.

"I'll be off then sir." He said. Jack reached out, took his hand and looked up not really making eye contact. Ianto shuddered he had never seen Jack look so shattered, didn't for one moment believe that Jack could ever look that way. Perhaps he was still suffering the effects of the fumes.

"Thank you for your help Ianto."

Ianto nodded curtly about to move away, but Jack held on. Ianto chewed at his lower lip.

"Sir?"

"Stay with me?" It was a plea.

Ianto felt his breath hitch in his chest, he wanted to say no but he knew he couldn't. He hated his own loneliness why subject anyone else to it as well, and hell it was Christmas Eve.

"Not here Jack. Come back to mine." He said simply.

Jack released his hand.

"Thank you."

They walked in silence through the night, Cardiff streets empty and peaceful. Ianto relished the city he knew so well at such times. It was wonderful to just walk breathing in the crisp coastal air and bathe in the silence. It was a long walk but Ianto couldn't face the prospect of using his own car until it had been thoroughly decontaminated of the smell of…..death….that was the only word for it really. Some time as they walked Jack had taken his hand, intertwining their fingers, squeezing tight. Human contact, an anchor to the mortal world, warmth. Ianto did not resist, if it helped Jack in some small way then who was he to deny him that. Jack was carrying too much on his shoulders as it was. Ianto found himself trying to convince himself that he did not care. He always maintained to himself that he didn't, but he knew it was a lie. Truth was he didn't know what it was and he wasn't willing to ask himself further. He had his own demons to keep at bay and he wasn't over fussed on sharing.

Ianto let them in to the flat aware that Jack had tightened his hold on his hand as the front door closed behind them. He pulled Ianto to a halt and spun him round a needful, desperate kiss planted roughly on his lips. Ianto baulked and pushed him away.

"No. Not now." He tried to say it gently, failed miserably and then felt guilty at the look of hurt that briefly flashed across Jack's face. Ianto managed a smile.

"I'll run you a bath, you stink of petrol Jack. You need to get cleaned up."

Jack sagged back against the opposite wall clearly having forgotten that he was still wearing the clothes he had died in earlier that day.

"Yeah, sorry you're right. I'm sorry."

Ianto pulled off his coat. "It's ok. Come on. Lets get you sorted out."

Ianto led him straight to the bathroom and set about preparing a bath as Jack pulled off his clothes. Ianto gathered them up and left Jack to it, deciding that they both needed a decent cup of coffee. He stuffed Jack's clothing into the washing machine and set it going and then went to his bedroom to get towels and a change of clothes for Jack.

As he moved through all this he kept wondering why he was doing it. The two of them had always hedged around an uneasy relationship, especially since Lisa, but somehow Ianto could only suppress his own compassion so much, deprive himself of his own humanity to a certain point. Jack was in pain, deep pain and the sad fact was, both of them were no strangers to that. The truth about Torchwood, four of the most damaged people in Wales worked there. Ianto half wondered how long it would be before Gwen got damaged too. Not that he cared about her because he didn't, he found her faintly annoying, shallow even.

Before he had realised it Ianto was back in the bathroom. Jack was sat in the bath face buried in his hands, knees drawn up to his chest, heaving bitter sobs. Ianto swallowed, not sure what to do. _What would Mam have done_? He didn't question where that thought had sprung from. He knelt down and rolled his sleeves up and taking a bottle of shower gel from the side of the bath he carefully washed Jacks back. He soothingly rubbed circles with the soap rinsed the suds away and proceeded to Jacks hair which was still matted with the fumes. There was nothing suggestive in his action, just the desire to be of some comfort and he remembered fondly how his mother had washed away his own hurts after being bullied at school one day many years ago. It seemed like a lifetime away but it had only been ten years before. Ianto wondered how he had gotten so old in such a short space of time. He finally pressed the bottle of gel into Jack's hand.

"Here, finish up. I'll make us some coffee. Come through when your done, there's clothes here." He kept his tone neutral.

Jack finally looked straight at him with turbulent oceanic eyes and Ianto held that look for a moment wishing he could drown himself right there and then. A faint smile ghosted across his face.

"Merry Christmas Jack."

Before Jack had gathered enough of his senses to reply Ianto had left the room.

Ianto relished the scent of spiced coffee, breathed it like an elixir to cure all his ills. It was one of the few things in life he really cared about, decent coffee an art in itself and one of the few he had truly mastered. Not a single person had complained about his ability to make the best coffee and tea for that matter. Some how it just came to him flowing from his hands like magic. A gift he fully acknowledged that came from his beautiful mother; everything she had ever made from Sunday lunch to late night hot chocolate had been perfect. Ianto half smiled he had been a well fed child right up to the age of 16. Food was ingested on sufferance these days, the need to eat to stay alive because everything just tasted like ash since she had died. Of course she would not approve, he was too skinny by half, more so recently, but at least he hadn't lost his passion for coffee, one small comfort in a world that held so very little to feel happy about.

As the coffee was left to brew Ianto wandered into his bed room to get changed coming out a few moments later in a ratty T-shirt and track pants, bare feet padding across the wooden floor boards. Back in the kitchen he prepared steamed milk and waited for Jack to come out of the bathroom. Picking up his well worn copy of Jane Eyer and leaning on the kitchen bench as he read. He knew the book almost by heart but he still loved it, remembering how his mother had sat with him one night during a thunderstorm. He had been bundled in her arms with his blanket and she had held him as she read both of them in contented silence, his father in the chair opposite sewing buttons on a suit. A moment of unspoken perfection. His whole childhood had been that way, wrapped in the powerful and undemanding love of his parents. Everyday Ianto thanked them for it and everyday he deeply missed them for it. There had been a brief recapturing of that tranquillity in the arms of Lisa, her laughter reminding him that the world doesn't have to be an empty place. The laughter had died at Canary Wharf in fire and pain. Ianto sighed lowering the book. Christmas did this to him last year as well. Last time he had been too consumed with trying to salvage his lover to notice. This year it felt like a repeat performance given the state Jack was in, but then he wasn't in love with Jack was he? Ianto hitched in a breath. Two lonely people haunted and terrified, one afraid to live, the other afraid to die and Ianto half wondered which one was which. It made him shudder.

He jumped when two strong arms snaked around his narrow waist, a chin resting on his shoulder and gentle sweet breaths in his ear.

"Thank you Ianto."

Ianto relaxed into the gentle embrace. "You're welcome Jack. Coffee?"

The embrace tightened. "In a minute."

Ianto smiled the warmth of Jacks body seeping into his own and he rested his hands over Jacks enjoying the contact as Jack brushed tender kisses into his hair. Jack finally relaxed his hold and eased Ianto round so that they were facing each other. The calm surety had returned to Jack's eyes, what ever pain he had now deeply buried, hidden under the sparkling smile that graced his face. Ianto almost smiled back. It was not something he was accustomed to doing these days. It felt wrong. He closed his eyes when Jack gently kissed his forehead and then took a pace back to give Ianto some space. The younger man looked like he needed it. Ianto took that as a cue to make their drinks. As he worked Jack leant against the sideboard, watching the young Welshman with mild interest. It was only now that he was learning what lengths Ianto went to over the coffee that he so often took for granted.

"You do this every time you make one of those?" There was an incredulous smile in his tone. Ianto his back to Jack actually found himself smiling properly, the tiniest amount of pride swelling in his heart. _Thanks Mam._

"You wouldn't want to drink it if I didn't." He kept his voice level and dropped the smile as he turned and handed Jack the steaming mug. "Be careful. It's hot."

Jack took it with both hands deeply inhaling. The transformation in his expression was startling. "That is beautiful Ianto Jones."

"Go sit down Jack. I'll be with you in a moment."

It was Jack's first visit to Ianto's flat. He wandered through to the lounge coffee in hand surprised to discover that the only items in the room were two couches. The floorboards were rather nice, beautifully restored by the look but the rest of the room was featureless, nothing personal about it what so ever. At the very least he expected to find a TV or books or something. The only colour being the curtains; which bore a resemblance to a medieval tapestry. Jack sank down on one of the sofas, which was wonderfully comfortable. He stretched out and gazed at the magnolia ceiling, there wasn't even a light shade to hide the energy saving bulb hanging above him.

Jack wondered why Ianto hadn't bothered to 'homify' the place that he lived in. It was stupid to wonder really, Ianto was hardly ever at home. He worked longer hours than any of them and the few occasions when he wasn't working at the Hub, he was in Jack's bed, even though he never stayed there for long. Jack had never woken up after sex to find the young man still beside him. He wished he had, even if it was just once. Ianto had told him that he didn't like people to see him sleep though he never said why. Truth was Jack wondered if Ianto ever did sleep, but of course he must everyone had to, even the indestructible Captain Harkness needed to do that. It made him realise just how much distance there was between them. In the wake of Ianto's betrayal over Lisa Jack had tried very hard to get to know the youngest member of his team. In some ways it had been easy, falling back on the flirting and innuendo and humorous banter. Ianto was a master, deflecting every attempt he had made to understand him. It was annoying because Ianto had made such a point about the whole Jack not knowing anything about anyone. But after Lisa's death Ianto had clamped down harder on his own self, not letting anyone in. It frightened Jack some days when he saw how some one so young carried so much, hidden behind the immaculate veneer of tailored suits and an unreadable face. Jack had never known courage like it, never seen loneliness like it either. Ianto remained aloof but not detached. The young man had tried to save Tosh, back in the Brecons. He had held her and comforted her after the whole Mary escapade. Ianto's moments of compassion were rare, beautiful and undemanding and Jack found himself falling in love with him for it.

It seemed strange to him now that he had been waylaid by Gwen's spontinaity and 'humanity'. She was a refreshing woman, untouched by the traumas of the world until they had met the Cannibals. That had touched her deeply, but she didn't let it stop her from being Gwen. Jack reflected on his disappointment when she had leapt into Owen's bed so willingly, but he understood it. Torchwood had a way of breaking you down like that. He wished it didn't and part of him wished he had never brought Gwen on board in the first place. Ianto had advised him against it and now Jack finally understood why. Ianto had not wanted her to end up like the rest of them, broken for want of a better word. How did some one so young end up so wise?

Ianto padded into the lounge and proffered a plate of cheese toasties.

"You need to eat Jack, you haven't eaten all day. Sorry it's not much."

Jack accepted the plate. Yes he was hungry, how the hell did Ianto always know what his needs were?

"What about you?" Jack enquired.

"Just doing mine now." Came the reply as Ianto went back to the kitchen.

Having finished his cheese toasties (even those were to die for!) Jack ambled into the kitchen, empty plate and mug in hand. He placed the items into the sink and faced Ianto who was still munching on his last piece of toast.

"Best Christmas dinner I've had in years." Jack commented truthfully. Ianto said nothing as he ate, he just watched as Jack leaned against the sideboard opposite him. The silence was calming and they both enjoyed it, simply watching each other, their thoughts (unbeknown to them) surprisingly similar. Christmas past, family and things that really mattered. Jack broke the spell.

"Your flat…..It's very…."

"Impersonal?"

Jack nodded.

Ianto finished his toast. "One day I am going to die, doing what we do and you lot will have to box up my life, go through all my things, analyse who I am from what I leave behind. Quite frankly, after Suzie that just gives me the creeps. Anyway I had to get rid of everything to pay for Lisa's treatment. I'm 5,000 pounds in the red so I can't afford to do it up yet."

Jack had no answer to that.

"I can sort it out for you."

Ianto shook his head. "No. I can manage. Thank you." Wondering what on Earth had possessed him to divulge that little snippet of information. Jack sighed.

"You don't have to manage Ianto. I'd like to help."

Ianto noted the genuine concern. "It wouldn't be fair to the others Jack. Owen already resents the fact that we sleep together, if he finds out I'm getting bonuses as well my life will be a misery."

Jack shifted his position slightly. "Owen knows we sleep together?"

Ianto half closed his eyes a lazy grin on his face. "More accurately he watched us fucking over your desk a couple of weeks back. I think it freaked him out a bit actually."

Jack laughed. It was wonderful to hear in the stillness. _Good, he's laughing_ was all Ianto could think at that time. A huge yawn escaped him and a quick glance at the clock on the oven told him it was 5:30 am on Christmas morning. Jeez. Jack held out a hand to him.

"I think we should go to bed."

Ianto sighed he really didn't want to no matter how tired he was.

"You go."

"Not with out you. Come on."

Reluctantly Ianto took his hand. He'd led himself into this trap by bringing Jack home in the first place. He silently hoped that the hours of empassioned sex and sleeping in the arms of his lover would be enough to keep the horrors of his sleep at bay.

He was wrong.

It was the screaming that dragged him into consciousness, initially mistaking the appalling sound for his own nightmare Jack sunk further under the covers. But the noise didn't stop. If anything it got worse. Suddenly he was up, disorientated by the late afternoon light and the unfamiliar room. He lunged over only to discover that Ianto was not beside him. A second glance; the young man was jammed against the chest of draws, arms wrapped tightly over his head. Another scream weaker, more resigned than the last. It was a name, his name. Jack leapt off the bed and went straight to Ianto's side, pulling his shaking body into an embrace. He was met with forceful resistance, panic and flailing limbs. Jack had to use every ounce of his own strength to get Ianto under control and hold him tightly rocking him and whispering soothingly. It was some time before he felt the tension ease from the Welshman's body and a while later before he sagged having not woken up through the whole thing. Jack just sat there enveloping Ianto as much as he could waiting for him to drift into wakefulness. They were both cold and it was with a deep shiver that Ianto finally stirred out of his troubled sleep. Jack gently kissed him, running his hands through Ianto's soft damp hair.

"Jack?" his voice was ragged.

"Sshh."

"Why are we on the floor? What happened?" Panic began to edge into his tone. "Jack?"

Jack tightened his hold. "You had a nightmare. A bad one, scared the shit out of me, I can tell you."

Ianto sighed, feeling ashamed and vulnerable. "I'm sorry I woke you."

Jack looked down at him. "Oh Ianto. You have nothing to be sorry for."

Another kiss, to reassure him of this.

Ianto eased himself away from Jack feeling thoroughly awkward and very nauseas. "I need the bathroom." He bolted Jack at his heels. He was sick before he made it to the bathroom.

An hour later and a pale faced Ianto Jones was tucked up on the couch wrapped in a quilt. Jack had cleaned up the mess and sat with him as he dry wretched into the toilet. Eventually Jack had convinced him to lie down on the sofa with a glass of water. Ianto didn't want the fuss. He was used to this routine in the cold light of a new day. The night terrors always made him sick, he had just learnt to live with it. He hadn't wanted Jack to know, or anyone else for that matter. Jack was sitting on the floor next to the couch on which he was lying, a concerned frown on the older man's face. It was disconcertingly similar to the frown his Father very occasionally had to wear in the rare times when a young Ianto was in trouble. Jack had taken hold of his left hand, gently massaging circles with his thumb.

"How long?"

Ianto realised it would pointless to deflect the enquiry. "They started when my parents died. It comes and goes." He replied.

"Every night?"

"Only since Brecon, before maybe a couple of times a week."

Jack heaved in a deep breath. "That was 2 months ago Ianto. I take it that's why you haven't been staying with me after…." He wasn't sure how to finish that sentence, after all what was it? Sex? Shagging? Making love? Jack liked to think it was the latter, but he doubted it was.

"Does Owen know?"

Ianto stiffened and pulled his hand away. "It's none of his business."

"He's your doctor."

"I don't need a diagnosis Jack. I already know its Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The doctors at Canary Wharf confirmed that." He responded bitterly. Jack reached up grasping Ianto's chin and guiding him round so that the young man was forced to look at him.

"Why won't you let any one help you?"

"Because I know all Owen can do is prescribe mind dulling drugs and get me to talk about my inner feelings. It doesn't work Jack, been there, tried it." Ianto sighed, relaxing a little. "Really Jack. Read my file if you don't believe me. It'll settle down. It will, it always does." He replied hoping that Jack would be convinced by the lie. Jack let his hand drop.

"Ok, but I still expect Owen to be checking you over."

Jack stood up. "I should get back to the Hub, check in make sure no one's invaded. You stay there and rest. You've all got the next few days off anyway."

Ianto nodded. "You're not going to stay there on your own are you?"

Jack shrugged. "The rest of you deserve a decent break. It's Christmas."

Ianto sat up pulling the quilt tightly about his thin frame.

"Take my house keys. Come back here when you've done what you need to do."

Jack looked at him questioningly.

"I might be asleep Jack. Just come in. I don't like the idea of you being alone there." Ianto could have cursed himself for saying that. What the hell was he thinking?

An appreciative smile ghosted over Jack's face. "Thank you."

'**A Room With No View'**

The room was bland, tiled, clinical. It housed 10 plastic chairs and a water cooler. Nothing else. That was all that was required. A collection of people had congregated there, an odd assortment of suits, jeans and mini skirts, make up and peroxides. They chatted happily amongst themselves. All there for a common purpose. All there on an act of faith and trust. The water was shared in the absence of anything else to consume. From the only door in the room a young man entered, immaculately groomed attired in an expensive tailored suit. Good that was everyone accounted for. From the other side the door was locked. The young man nervously scanned the other occupants of the room. They were becoming lively now. He moved through them clearly agitated and helped himself to a cup from the water dispenser. He stood back leaning against the tiles and sipped the drink. A frown flickered across his handsome face. The miniskirt got up began lunging about, pulling at her hair, edging her clothes off. Trench coat with the grey beard yanked up a chair and threw it across the room and chaos ensued, running screaming spitting and biting. A tumult of human madness in the confines of a single room. They fought and screamed obscenities, slammed one another against the walls and gouged one another's eyes out. A mid the destruction the young man, the last to enter had found his way back to the door. Panic was blinding him and he hammered against the safety glass to get out, the unyielding surface causing him to split his knuckles. He wasn't deterred, reduced to a trance of pounding for freedom as an apocalypse of seething inhumanity exploded around him.

'**Shadowland'**

Jack was more than a little surprised to find Ianto's flat empty when he got back. Having done his checks around the Hub and briefly spoken to the rest of the team (Except Owen who wasn't answering) Jack had decided to take up Ianto's offer and return to his flat. Truth was he was very concerned about Ianto's state of health. He had no business being concerned unless it affected Torchwood and perhaps on medical grounds Ianto's problems could be considered an issue. Not quite trusting what Ianto had told him he had read the young man's medical file, a long history of PTSD well documented, it was why Torchwood London had given him the job of researcher and never sent him out in the field. His sponsor for the job had been one Dr Lisa Hallet who worked in para psychology. So that's how he'd got in. Torchwood would never have employed him otherwise. Ianto was nothing special after all, shy to the point of being invisible and not especially bright. His psychological profiling had been quite specific, not suitable for high stress work. IE don't put the poor office boy in the line of fire. It seemed ridiculous that they had invested in firearms and field ops training when he was never likely to have needed them. Torchwood One had been weird like that. Ianto had obviously proved his worth though because he worked at Canary Wharf for three years and his personnel file was packed with glowing reports and by the time the Cybermen had arrived he had gained the same level of security clearance that Jack had. Ianto had never discussed what he did in London and Jack had never asked. Jack had then looked into the deaths of Ianto's parents. A car accident on the M25, plain and simple, Ianto was not with them at the time of the accident.

Jack placed Ianto's house keys on the kitchen bench and pulled out his mobile phone. He hit the speed dial for Ianto and realised a moment later that he could hear Ianto's phone ringing from the bedroom. Jack went to find it. The Nokia was sat on the chest of draws next to Ianto's wallet. Jack frowned at that wondering why Ianto would have left that behind. Ianto hadn't mentioned that he was visiting anyone, but it was possible he was out visiting a friend for Christmas drinks. After all Cardiff was his home town, there were bound to be friends here. Jack decided to leave it at that and return to the Hub, he'd see Ianto in a couple of days time. It was quite likely the young Welshman was just avoiding him and too embarrassed to tell him that he wished he hadn't invited him back.

The morning of the 28th of December dawned like any other. Jack hauled himself out of his bunk at 5am and showered and dressed to the sweet lulling sounds of Glen Miller, grateful for the fact that Christmas was behind him. He climbed up into his office at 6am dismayed to discover that the Hub was still in darkness. Ianto would normally have been in by now, brewing his wonderful coffee and getting everyone's work stations tidied up for the day ahead. Ianto was never this late and Jack had to resist an over powering urge to ring the Welshman. It was silly. Ianto deserved a lie in, though it seemed unlikely in Jack's mind that Ianto had even heard of search a thing, let alone done it. He decided to go out and get his breakfast from one of the café's by the water front. He deserved the treat after all as Boxing Day had been spent trying to catch a Hoix, which was now currently sleeping in the vaults, awaiting a transfer to UNIT to join two of it's comrades that had been picked up earlier in the year. Pulling on his old great coat Jack left the Hub head down against the sleet and freezing December chill.

PC Andy Davidson was not especially enthralled about being on post Christmas weekend cell duty. Apparently in his absence the festive break had been a busy one with the usual combination of drunks and druggies looking for a free bed for the night. He picked up his clip board and did a quick check of the list noting that one of the inmates needed to be checked by the duty police doctor. He made the call to the appropriate desk and then wondered down to the cell housing one Ifan Davies. He took a quick peek through the spy hole in the cell door, the occupant lying on the bunk. Andy frowned his own natural compassion getting the better of him, deciding the poor bloke needed a cup of tea. He opened the door and straight away the rather dazed, incredibly well dressed (if a little rumpled) man sat up rubbing at his eyes with bandaged hands. That was odd for a start, the man had an NHS bracelet on his wrist. Andy wondered why the fellow wasn't in hospital until he remembered the arrest report. Extreme violence, George would be nursing his black eye for a week. Andy stood in the doorway.

"Alright Mr Davies?"

The young man just looked bewildered for a moment, blue eyes clouded from the after effects of what ever it was he had been taking the night before. Andy suspected a case of too much snorting in the men's loos, but that didn't explain the bandaged hands.

"Mr Davies?"

The man gazed about himself, looked down at his hands then back at Andy he was frowning now his pale face made gaunt by the expression.

"What did you call me?"

"Ifan Davies?" Andy offered in his friendliest tone.

A shake of the head. "Ianto. Ianto Jones and where the hell am I?"

Jack was halfway through his second cup of coffee when his mobile rang. He wanted to ignore it just so he could savour at least one uninterrupted meal in his day, but he picked it up and smiled when he realised it was Gwen. On hearing what she had to say the smile dropped, his stomach changing places with his heart. He arranged to meet her at the police station, in 10 minutes. He ran all the way there only because it was quicker than going back to the Hub to get the SUV. Gwen arrived less than a minute after he did.

Ianto just sat there, numb. He gazed about the cell not really able to take it in. A police officer was sat next to him, chatting away, asking him questions, trying to be nice. It was not comforting, if anything it made Ianto feel somewhat exposed and out of control. Out of control. Apparently he'd been that way the previous night, it had taken four police officers to bring him down and cuff him. Ianto could barely believe such a thing, he almost never drank and absolutely didn't indulge in drug taking these days. He bit at his lip trying to dredge up at least some recollection of the past two days. It was a complete blank. Who the hell was Ifan Davies? And why could he not get the image out of his mind of some one gouging their own eyes out? Nausea ate at his innards and a faint ringing in his ears was starting to drown out the drone of the police officer's voice. He just wanted to go home and go to bed and what the hell had happened to his hands?

"Ianto?" A familiar calm washed over him at the sound of that voice.

"Ianto, it's Jack. Hey look at me." It was a gentle demand.

Ianto slowly turned his head in the direction of the American accent he had come to savour. A faint smile emerged from the depths of his unfocussed confusion.

"Jack?" His voice was fragile.

Worried pools of blue faced him

"Jack, what happened?"

Some one touched his shoulder. Ianto flinched.

"We're not sure Ianto." It was Gwen. He did not want to speak to her, most certainly didn't want her touching him. Tears rolled down his face before he even had time to think that he was in anyway upset. He was pulled into a gentle embrace, Jack's sweet scent engulfing him as he sobbed into Jack's coat.

Jack and Gwen exchanged worried looks as Jack gently rubbed comforting circles over Ianto's back.

"Get a copy of the arrest report, then we'll take him back to the Hub. Did you bring your car?"

She nodded.

"Good we'll meet you out front in a minute."

Gwen rose to her feet aware of the gentle dismissal and giving Ianto a brief comforting touch on the shoulder she left the cell. Ianto didn't notice her departure. Eventually he gained some measure of control and eased himself away from Jack's embrace looking down at his hands, the bandages were bloodied and dirty. There was nothing what so ever in his head that enabled him any kind of recall. He stared blankly willing something to come to light, but his shaking hands gave nothing away, beyond bone deep pain that went up into his shoulders, settling at the base of his neck like a ton of weight. He sucked in a long steadying breath.

"Can we get out of here please?"

Jack stood up and carefully took Ianto's elbow, taking in the dried blood and dirt on the suit, a tear in the fabric by his shoulder. He helped Ianto to his unsteady feet and supported him as they made their way out of the cell.

"Can you remember anything Ianto?"

The younger man managed a weak shake of his head, his voice abandoning him.

"It's ok. We'll get Owen to fix you up."

Ianto was not reassured by this one bit.

Back at the Hub and Ianto gingerly sat on the autopsy table and watched as Owen carefully unbound his hands. Ianto hissed with the pain even as Owen was gentle in his actions. Owen's mood was as dark as Ianto's memory. The doctor worked in silence removing the old dressings and holding up one of Ianto's hands to inspect the damage. A scanner was run over the injuries and Owen let out a noise of surprise.

"Ianto were you fighting with a brick wall or something?"

Ianto sighed not answering.

"You've broken almost every knuckle bone. I'll need to set this and put your hand in a cast."

Fortunately the other hand was only badly bruised. A large dose of pain killer and three hours later and Ianto's plastered hand was strapped across his chest in a sling. Ianto had said nothing the entire time that Owen worked. Owen was rather relieved as he was not in the mood for conversation. Gwen had hovered in the back ground until Owen had finished and then she proferred a cup of tea to Ianto who discovered he couldn't take it. _Shit just great_. She offered to help but Ianto shook his head. Disappointed she turned away and handed the mug to Jack.

"You try."

Ianto refused his help as well as he eased himself off the metal bench. It was Tosh who finally convinced him to accept some assistance in the direction of the couch.

Owen got back to analysing the blood samples he had taken. Jack came down to the autopsy bay and stood waiting arms folded across his chest.

"Well?"

Owen ripped off his latex gloves and binned them. His face was grim. Jack had a feeling that it was nothing to do with Ianto's current state.

"Diane?" He queried.

Owen shrugged. "She left Jack. The reports on your desk, subject closed." His tone was verging on vitriolic. Jack nodded his understanding.

"I'm sorry."

Owen sighed feeling rather awkward. "Right then. Ianto." He picked up his notes. "This is a weird one Jack. That was definitely an NHS bracelet issued from Cardiff General Hospital, though why it doesn't have Ianto's name on it is beyond me. I'm guessing his injuries were sustained approximately 24 – 36 hours ago giving their current status. There's a single puncture mark from a needle on his right arm, presumably from a previous blood test. His blood pressure is low, heart rate down and his pupils are sluggish, but there's no evidence of a concussion from a head injury, other than the apparent memory loss. I think the injuries were self inflicted, looks like he's been repeatedly punching a very hard smooth surface, mostly with his left hand. It must have hurt like hell Jack. You'll get the blood work results in another couple of hours."

Jack nodded slowly taking it all in. "Did he say anything to you?"

"Not a word. Stupid Tea Boy probably popped an 'E' or something."

Jack arched his eyebrows, he highly doubted that, getting Ianto to take paracetamol was a battle enough as he recalled.

"I'll talk to him. Thank you Owen."

Gwen smiled as she plumped up a couple of pillows on to the couch. She waited for Ianto to settle himself down and spread the blanket over him carefully so as not to dislodge the IV line that Owen had just inserted. Jack had earlier refused him permission to go home. So Ianto had had to go through the embarrassment of having Jack assist him with a shower and getting dressed in Jack's spare clothes before being settled on the couch behind Tosh's work station. Gwen had fussed like a clucky hen, which had been irritating but Ianto kept his mouth shut, she was after all only trying to help him. He knew he should be grateful. Out of control. It was all he could think of. Still nothing would come back to him. He could feel the weight of his own exhaustion pressing down on his chest and finally he slid into an uneasy sleep.

Once Jack was certain that Ianto was sleeping he called the team into the conference room, careful to position himself so that Ianto was always in his line of sight.

"Ok, everyone. What do we have? Tosh?"

She picked up her PDA. "Ok. I hacked into Cardiff General's database. One Ifan Davies was admitted at 3am Boxing day into the AnE department. Apparently dumped on the doorstep from a passing car. The CCTV for that has been wiped and due to a system wide crash there's no information or notes regarding his treatment. The only reason I found out he was there at all is because the nurse I spoke with on the phone actually remembered him coming in but even then she really only knows that he did come in. I asked her to locate the paper work and that is missing too. I did a quick check of the city wide CCTV the only images of Ianto are from the late afternoon of Christmas day, he went to the cemetery to take flowers to his parents graves."

Tosh resumed her seat. "Sorry Jack, best I could do."

Jack smiled at her. "Thanks Tosh. Gwen, anything else?"

"Just the police report. They were called out to a disturbance at 11pm on the 27th. Two men fighting outside the Red Dragon in Splott. Two cars arrived on the scene. One of the men got away because it took four officers to subdue Ianto enough to get him cuffed and back to the station. 'Quote: suspect was highly agitated and aggressive and appeared to be under the influence of a narcotic substance: unquote'. He was due to see the police surgeon this morning, which is when Andy called me. Again there's nothing on the CCTV to indicate how Ianto got there." Gwen was looking as apologetic as Tosh as she glanced through the glass in Ianto's direction. "Poor love." She muttered.

"So we really have no way of tracing his moves over the last 48 hours."

The two women shook their heads.

"What about Ifan Davies?"

Tosh looked a little apprehensive here. "I'd like your permission to access Ianto's emails. I have a hunch about that."

Jack nodded. "Go ahead, do what ever you need to. I'll make your apologies to him don't worry."

Tosh was relieved, the last thing she wanted to do was betray his fragile trust in her. "I'll get started right away. Can I use the computer in your office? I don't want Ianto to wake up and see what I am doing."

Jack smiled at her. "Of course."

Toshiko left the room. Gwen and Jack turned to look at Owen. The doctor sat up and pushed a sheet of paper in Jack's direction.

"That's the blood work. There's minute traces of a drug I don't recognise in his system, it looks remarkably similar to Retcon, but it's not, much more complex. I'll know more after further testing. I also checked the blood stains on his clothing and found eight different sets of DNA and three of those contain the same traces as Ianto's blood. I have no idea what the fuck happened to him Jack, but I do believe that what ever he took he either took it willingly or unknowingly because there is nothing to suggest the he was forced to ingest anything and the only needle marks are from blood tests, not injections."

"Any ideas what this substance is designed to do?"

Owen was frowning. "Fuck with his head, in some weird way. God knows Jack. Bottom line I'll need him to talk to me, whether he likes it or not especially given his medical history. My only question is was he targeted or was this voluntary. He'll need to be kept an eye on either way and he certainly won't have the use of his hand for a couple of months. Now if you don't mind I have tests I need to get on with." His brusque tone did not mask his concern. Owen got up. "Gwen would you be a love and make us a cup of coffee?"

Gwen glared at him. "I'll do it in a minute. Jack any thing else I can do?"

"Yep drive over to Ianto's flat, I'll give you the spare keys. His mobile is on the dresser in his bedroom. Bring it in. I want to find out who he's been talking to lately, assuming he hasn't deleted the information." Jack instructed.

Gwen rose from her place wondering how the hell Jack knew where she'd find Ianto's phone. It was obvious really, Owen was probably right in his assumption that perhaps Jack was shagging the pretty office boy after all. She wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that.

Jack was at Ianto's side the moment he heard the first outcry. Of course he'd been expecting it, but it didn't help in preparing him for the harrowing screams that followed and it took both him and Owen combined to hold Ianto down before the young man lurched into terrified wakefulness. Ianto was soaking with cold sweat and shaking so violently Owen was half expecting him to start fitting. Jack took a place on the couch and held Ianto tightly trying his utmost to restore some semblance of calm. When Ianto finally relaxed enough to regulate his breathing Owen stepped away to grab his medical scanner muttering curses to himself as he went. Ianto was sagged against Jack, exhausted and frightened. He hadn't felt this vulnerable for years and it was his helplessness that frightened him more than any of the horrors in his sleeping world. Jack's embrace did nothing to comfort him beyond restoring some warmth to his body, but he didn't move. He wasn't certain he had the strength to. A moment later and Owen was back waving what looked like a PDA and then he was gone again.

"Everything OK?" It was Jack speaking, not directed at him though.

"No change. Though he needs something hot to eat and drink." Came Owen's reply.

Ianto closed his eyes, drifting, the conversation around him blurring into nothing ness and it was a while before he realised someone was talking to him.

"…….Chinese, Ianto?"

Ianto shifted his position slightly, trying to get himself upright, he forgot his damaged hand and hissed at the pain trying to use it caused. Some one was helping him now.

"Ianto…Come on. Wake up now." It was Jack again, soft accented tones filtering in like early sunlight.

"Mmmwake." Ianto managed to respond.

Another conversation ensued, Ianto vaguely heard Jack on his mobile reciting their usual dinner order from the local takeaway.

The five of them sat in silence around the boardroom table to eat their meal. Ianto now fully awake just wanted to shrink into a heap under the table as he became aware of the others flicking not so discreet glances in his direction as he picked at his food. Gwen had offered to help him as it became apparent that Ianto would struggle holding his fork, but he waved her off in embarrassment. He managed, all be it barely, but manage he did. Ianto wasn't hungry anyway, the combination of powerful painkillers and the mystery trauma of the last two days clogged in his gut like a cancer and last thing he wanted to do was eat. Surprisingly (as far as Ianto was concerned) it was Owen who exhibited the most the compassion, he knew Ianto would not want to be fussed over so he left him to struggle and Ianto was quietly grateful for the medics wisdom. Gwen eventually tidied everything away.

It was Ianto who broke the overwhelming silence.

"Can I go home now?"

"No!" Both Owen and Jack chorused.

"You tea boy are sleeping here tonight where we can keep an eye on you. No arguments."

Ianto looked mightily demoralised and he turned to Jack with big round eyes in the hopes that a small degree of cuteness factor would get him what he wanted. Jack half smiled, he knew that look and Ianto normally never used it in public.

"Owen's right, we need to keep you under observation. Have you remembered anything yet?"

Ianto looked apprehensively at the others in turn and shook his head. "It's blurry. The only image that keeps coming to mind is of some one trying to…..they were the trying to take their eyes out….there was a lot of blood and some one was shouting at me in latin, but maybe I'm confusing that with my dreams….." He trailed off not wanting to reveal any thing else.

"Tell us about Ifan Davies." Jack was looking straight at him now and Ianto knew he would not be able to avoid answering.

"I…I don't know." He lied.

Jack was glaring at him now. "Ianto." His tone lowered dangerously. But Ianto remained silent unable to meet any of their looks. Jack sighed.

"Ok, Owen get him down to the autopsy bay and make sure he's settled in for the night."

Ianto got up and Owen led him out of the board room.

Toshiko reached her delicate hand over the table and briefly grasped Jack's hand.

"I got into his files and Emails." She said. "Come to your office. I'll show you. I didn't want to say anything in front of the others, but you need to see this."

They settled themselves at the computer terminal in Jack's office and Tosh expertly pulled up all of Ianto's files.

"He hid them well Jack, some of the stuff is encrypted and I'm still working on that." She opened up a variety of folders on the desktop and scrolled through each one in turn. "He's been researching sleeping disorders, dreams, night mares, post traumatic stress and the list goes on. Different treatments, clinics, doctors. You name it, it's in here. I think he's been looking into this over a long period. He's been regularly accessing different chat rooms, which seem to centre around his research. He's also in regular correspondence with one Dr Simon Pacey. Ianto has been corresponding under the name of Ifan Davies."

Jack took some time to view Tosh's findings. "Any thing on Dr Pacey?"

"Yep, qualified neurologist. He was part of the neurology department at St Thomas's Hospital London. Graduated in 1987 top of his class. Lead research projects into varying sleep disorders resulting from PTSD and head injuries. Apparently very widely respected in his field of expertise, published in numerous medical and scientific journals until he had to cease practicing medicine after suffering a stroke 6 years ago. He's involved with various internet based groups and chatrooms and judging from the emails he has exchanged with Ianto I think he advises people on line about their conditions, keeps them up to date with the latest research and hooks people up with Clinical trials to help treat them."

"I don't understand."

"This is more Owen's field Jack, but all medicines have to under go human trials at some point in their development. This Pacey guy is surfing the net hooking people up to different drugs trials. He probably grooms them via the chat rooms then passes on their details to the pharmaceutical companies for a small fee."

Jack was frowning. "Is that legal?"

"I think it's pretty strictly regulated, though I have to admit this does seem a trifle dodgy to me."

Jack was inclined to agree. "So this guy set Ianto up for a clinical trial?"

Tosh pulled up Ianto's emails. " I think so yes. They've obviously been corresponding for some months. Ianto has gone into great detail about what he is suffering with and almost every reply from Pacey has offered differing suggestions about medications, alternative therapies, even diet. The last email Ianto received from Pacey was on Christmas morning. It gives an address and a time. That's it. Jack, I have to ask. Why would Ianto be doing all of this? Why not ask Owen for help?"

Jack shrugged. "Time to ask Ianto I think. Can you trace Pacey?"

"Already done. It's a north London address." She hesitated. "Jack can we help him? Have we really lost so much sight of each other that we have allowed this to happen?"

Jack stood up and squeezed her shoulder. "Don't even think about blaming yourself Tosh. Ianto is a master at hiding himself from the rest of us. The only person to blame here is me. I know him better than any of us and some times I think I don't him at all."

"You share his bed Jack, surely you knew about this?" It was not an accusation.

Jack sighed. "Untill 3 days ago I had no idea, we have sex Tosh we don't sleep together, there's a world of difference. It was only the fact that he helped me after John's death that I found out. I know he didn't want me to find out. I seem to be getting everything wrong these days."

Tosh looked up and smiled at him. "I don't think so. I think you just have too much to cope with and Ianto needs to trust us more than he does. He's my friend Jack and I didn't see this. He's helped me so much the last few weeks."

"I know, I saw. Good work Tosh, and thanks. Now I have to talk to Ianto." He said unhappily.

'**The Wild And The Innocent'**

Unwillingly Ianto allowed himself to be settled on the exam couch in the autopsy bay. It was mildly more comfortable than the metal table, though only just. Owen had connected up a second IV line, Ianto having pulled out the first one accidentally as he tried to wriggle into a clean T-shirt over the cast on his hand. Owen had put the casted arm back into the body hugging sling and made Ianto lie down under a pile of cotton blankets and a large dose of Morphine. Owen was clearly in a bad mood and Ianto half wondered what had got the medic so riled, but he didn't ask. It was probably none of his business anyway. Though he found himself mildly puzzled by the fact that he was even concerned about it. Feeling somewhat chilly Ianto just lay there in silence and watched Owen's back as he worked at the bench, no doubt studying the most recent blood sample he had not long since taken from Ianto's arm. He knew that he would have to answer Owen's inevitable questions and Jack's demands, but he didn't want to. He just wanted to get out of there and go home and lick his wounds in private. There was no way he was going to be allowed that. Jack was going to be pissy enough as it was. Ianto sighed quietly, too tired to sleep, too afraid to relax enough to risk sleeping, the morphine was like a lead weight in his chest, he felt like he was breathing crude oil. The effort to inhale too much. His breath hitched and it took Ianto a moment to realise that he was crying softly, tears streaking over his white face into the pillow. He bit at the inside of his cheek to stop himself from making a sound and squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

"Ianto."

It was Jack. Ianto opened his eyes and looked straight into the blue of Jack's.

"Sir?"

"We need to talk, and no bullshitting me now. I want answers." His tone left no room for argument.

Ianto cautiously sat up with some assistance from Jack. He realised that Owen and Jack were both there flanking each side of his cot.

"Tell me everything from the start and I mean everything."

Ianto looked at his blankets.

"I suffer from PTSD, I had it since my parents died. For the first couple of years I was shoved on to anti depressants and sent for councilling. The usual drill. I completely lost control of my life, got into a lot of trouble. I started using coke because it stopped the nightmares. Coke's an expensive habit so I'd work for this guy in Battersea stealing cars to order and one day I broke into a Torchwood Van. They caught me, but for some reason they were so impressed that I'd actually managed it, one of them helped me get a job working at Canary Wharf. My burgling skills came in very handy. That was Lisa, she helped me out, got me off the coke and slowly but surely I got better. Then the Cybermen came, you know the rest……" Ianto didn't want to continue with this and he clammed up. Jack and Owen waited patiently for him to carry on.

"Ianto, all of it!" Jack was firm but he reached out a reassuring hand to touch his leg. "Please."

"The nightmares came back, only this time they were much more vivid and sometimes they'd start when I was still awake. I thought I was going mad, but I was trying to keep Lisa alive. I tried the conventional treatments, and nothing worked. So I started looking through every medical journal and internet site I could find. I finally made contact with a guy who said he could help. He got me on to a drugs trial."

Owen hissed out a breath. "What the fuck were you playing at?" He yelled. "Jesus Ianto you fucking idiot."

"Not helping Owen." Jack remarked.

Owen threw his arms up in the air. "You told me, the night terrors had stopped. Why the hell did you lie to me, how the fuck am I supposed to help you if you lie to me!"

"I needed to make it stop Owen!" Ianto screamed back, taking both Owen and Jack by surprise. "I am so bone tired of screaming every night and waking up and puking my guts out. A cure Owen. Is that too much to ask? And quite frankly I don't trust you to give me one. I don't trust any of you!"

"So you'd go running to some random freak on the net, who you know nothing about. You tosser. What did you take Ianto? What the fuck was it?"

Ianto gaped between Jack and Owen his wide with horror. "I didn't take anything. I went to this place, there were other people there and it all went to hell and the only thing I remember is not being able to get out. But I didn't take anything. I'm not stupid. I just wanted some answers….Shit…..some one died there Jack and I didn't do anything to stop it." He bit back a sob. "I'm sorry. I really didn't want any of this to happen."

"Its Ok. Is that where you went Christmas night?"

Ianto nodded.

"Ianto you must have known it was some dodgy operation." Owen had calmed his toned considerably.

"I was…."

Jack patted his leg. "You don't have to explain. After what I saw the other night, I don't blame you. But you should have told us. We could've helped you. You have to stop hiding from us. How can we trust you when you keep all these secrets?"

"You think I am bothered enough to want your trust? Sorry to disappoint you."

Jack pulled his hand away and stood up a stony mask dropping over his face. "Tomorrow we go to this clinic you visited, if some one did die we have to investigate and you're suspended indefinitely." He turned and walked away.

"And here was me thinking it was Jack that was a complete and utter twat, looks like I got that wrong too." Owen spat out and he too walked out of the autopsy bay.

Ianto just felt sick, knowing full well he shouldn't have said those things to Jack.

Ianto lay awake in the dim light of the autopsy bay the entire night Jack had sent the others home at 10pm and from that point as per Owens instructions Jack made a check on Ianto's vitals on the hour, every hour. No words were exchanged, no eye contact made. Ianto was feeling thoroughly ashamed of himself by the following morning. At 8am Jack removed the IV line and helped Ianto get dressed.

"I've told the others to take a couple of days off. This investigation into your outside activities is nothing to do with Torchwood so I won't involve them any further. You and I are going to sort this mess out and once that's done you are going to have some time to reconsider your position here. I should Retcon you and kick your arse out." Jack's tone was laced with bitter disappointment.

Ianto said nothing. He didn't know what to say. He was so tired and angry that he didn't trust himself to say anything sensible.

"We'll got some breakfast at Costa, then go to this clinic." Jack handed him an over coat and Ianto just stood there shame faced.

"I'm sorry Jack."

Jack froze and glared at him. "Sorry for what you did or what you said?"

Ianto sank down onto Tosh's chair. "Both."

"Do you know how much that hurt me?" Jack demanded rather surprised at himself by the question.

Ianto nodded. "I am sorry Jack."

Jack knelt down in front of him. "Why won't you let any one help you? We do care Ianto. I care, for what that's worth."

Ianto's custom blank expression dropped into place. "Everyone I ever loved has died. I don't want to love anyone else because I know I'll lose them too. The only thing I want is a decent, peaceful sleep and I am at my wits end." He replied quietly. "I'm broken Jack, I've been that way for years."

"I can only help fix you if you let me Ianto." Jack implored carefully brushing his fingertips along Ianto's pale cheek.

"And after everything I've done, why would you want to do that?"

Jack looked straight into the blue pools of bewilderment that were Ianto's beautiful eyes and kissed his forehead.

"I have a very long life ahead of me because as I am sure you have worked out by now I cannot die. If I live through eternity being afraid of losing the people I come to love I will spend eternity in lonely madness. I would rather find love and lose it than deny myself the chance of some happiness. You are the person who has made me realise this. It's been decades since I felt anything like this for anyone, maybe even the first time in my life, but whether or not you and I ever…….I have eternity Ianto. You do not. Don't deny yourself love no matter who it is that makes you happy. Don't live like this, because you are amazing and you deserve some happiness. Please trust me on this."

Ianto held his gaze. "You said to me once that you were looking for answers of your own, is this the whole eternity thing?"

Jack nodded. "Like you I'm waiting for the right kind of Doctor."

"And when you find this Doctor?"

Jack dropped his gaze.

"Jack?"

"I will leave. He's the only one who can fix me."

Ianto laughed. It was a wonderful genuine sound. "Between the two of us then…….When you get yourself fixed, will you come back?" Ianto's tone became serious again, eyes searching Jack's for the truth.

"That's up to you."

After an awkward silence Jack got his feet. "We need to get going."

Ianto stood up making a dogs breakfast of trying to pull his coat on until Jack helped him. They faced each other and Ianto couldn't meet his penetrating look. Jack lifted his chin.

"I meant what I said." He brushed a chaste kiss to Ianto's lips. Ianto thought his heart would stop.

"Jack?" He whispered. Their lips just touching.

"What?"

"Thank you." Ianto kissed him back, then stepped away, a faint smile on his face and a brightness in his eyes that Jack had never seen before. But Ianto was worried all the same, the prospect of Jack leaving them. It wasn't something Ianto wanted to consider. They headed out to the SUV, Jack opening the door for him. Ianto took the front passenger seat and Jack leaned in to secure the seatbelt. It made Ianto grin.

"I can still use my right hand you know."

Jack grunted. "Yeah, but it still looks pretty sore to me." He went wondered round and got in settling himself at the steering wheel. "Danm Owen he's been moving things around in here again." Jack keyed the ignition.

"When are you leaving Jack?"

He should have expected the question really and part of him was regretting saying anything at all in the first place.

"I don't know, that's the truth. I may not even be in your lifetime, it could be tomorrow."

"I see, is this another of your secrets that I have to keep?"

Jack kept his gaze steadfastly on the windscreen. "That's a choice only you can make. I don't want the others to know, the same as I don't want them knowing about Flat Holm. I trust you Ianto inspite of what you might think."

"I know you do. If you do leave, just remember you have all of us to come back to, not just me. The others love you, even Owen, it would be hard on them if you went, especially if they do not understand why you have chosen to go." Ianto wondered why he had brought that up, with the exception of Tosh he had almost no attachment at all to Owen and Gwen. "They need you to lead them." Ianto leaned his head against the glass in the door.

"What about you?"

"I'll just keep making the coffee and ordering the pizzas."

Jack smiled. "That's my Ianto." He muttered. Ianto pretended he hadn't heard but couldn't help but feel a little comforted by that remark.

An hour later saw them pull up outside the Rose Hill medical centre. Jack noted the look of apprehension on Ianto's face as they got out of the SUV and into the freezing drizzle. The ducked inside the building through the battered double door only to arrive in a rather grim waiting area where a collection of mothers and snotty children and an elderly couple were sat. Ianto stood there paralysed as a flood of images assaulted him. He remembered this place in some strange fogged up way and sucking in a steadying breath he walked bypassing the completely unaware receptionist and heading down a dingy corridor with a stained carpet. Frowning Jack followed and caught up with Ianto in a featureless room with two rows of plastic chairs and a water dispenser. Ianto was frozen in the middle of the room his bruised right hand clenched in a painful fist, his face unreadable. Jack approached him and touched his elbow seemingly bringing the younger man out of a trance.

"This is the room Jack. This is definitely where I came to. I walked through that door and I stood over there against the wall and I……I remember watching the other people talking and then I…..The water." Ianto's already pale face went sheet white and Jack was worried he was going to faint. "Jack I drank the water, from the cooler. I had a cup of water. Then everything went crazy. I was banging on that door to get out. Some one definitely died in here. I remember now, he jammed his thumbs into his eyes and collapsed over there." Ianto pointed his hand shaking. "Fuck. I would never have taken anything knowingly Jack, you have to believe me."

Jack gently rested his hand on Ianto's shoulder. "I'll talk to the staff, you go wait in the SUV. Come on." He carefully guided Ianto out of the building then went back inside. Ianto however decided to take a look around the exterior. He wandered along the path that ran along the edge of the building to a small carpark at the back. There were four cars parked up and another parking space was occupied by a Biffa Skip. Ianto wandered around not entirely certain why he was doing it. He scanned the tarmac, the grass verge and then went to the skip and lifted the lid. The stench was appalling and sickeningly familiar. He slammed the lid back down feeling nauseas.

"Ianto what the hell are you doing back here?" Jack demanded jogging over to where he stood. Ianto wasn't sure he had an answer that would make any sense.

"No one in there knows anything about a clinical drugs trial, the building was closed right the way through the Christmas break. Are you sure this is the right place?" Jack asked in earnest.

Ianto nodded. "I think I found the dead guy too." He gestured to the skip beside them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to my reviewers, here is the second and final part.**

'**The Truth Always Hurts'**

Owen was extremely unimpressed about being called back into the Hub. He had arrived shortly after 2pm only to have Jack demand that he assist with getting a body out of the back of the SUV. A post mortem was needed and all Owen could think was what the hell had Tea Boy gone and done this time. He was in no mood to deal with Ianto's stupidity and half wondered why Jack had even bothered to keep the boy on the staff. Having dumped the rather weighty body bag on the metal exam table. Owen set to work preparing his equipment speaking out loud to Jack as he went about his task.

"So who's the stiff then?"

"I don't know. Ianto remembers him from the Trial, or what ever it is you want to call it. We found the clinic. They deny all knowledge of the event, but Ianto is absolutely convinced he was there. He found the body in a skip at the back of the building. I think it's been there a couple of days judging from the smell." Jack explained.

Owen turned to face him. "How do we know that he's telling the truth Jack? Ianto's lied to us before and he had no qualms about putting us all in danger. How do we know he isn't responsible for this man's death?"

Jack hadn't even considered that possibility and it showed.

Owen hissed with disgust. "Stop thinking with your hormones for once in your sorry life Harkness. Ianto can be a devious little shit when he wants to be, I wouldn't put it past him."

Jack tried to return a steady look and sincerely hoped that Owen was wrong. "All avenues of enquiry will be investigated Owen. I know you're angry with Ianto, trust me so am I, but if he's telling me the truth I have an obligation to sort this out."

"Bullshit Jack."

"What am I supposed to do? Let him continue to suffer in silence or maybe worse, go off and find some miracle cure that scrambles his brain for life?"

Owen stopped what he was doing, shocked at the mortified expression on Jack's face. "Just try to be objective Jack. I know you have feelings for Ianto, but you can't let that get in the way of this." He gestured to the bagged corpse. "Have you involved the police?"

Jack shook his head. "I want your PM report first. I also need a complete analysis of the drug you found in Ianto's blood."

"Ok, You'll have everything for tomorrow morning, I'm still waiting for the final set of tests to complete their cycle. What's your nest move?" Owen decided to try and give some sense of focus.

"I'm taking Ianto to London to meet this Dr Simon Pacey, first thing tomorrow, I wanted to wait for your results first. Ianto needs to rest anyway."

"Ok, do you want me to check on him?"

"Yes, I don't think he slept last night and he was very agitated at the clinic. Oh and by the way he told me he remembered drinking water from a cooler at the clinic before everything went to hell."

Owen gave him a doubtful look.

"I believe him. I know him Owen, he wouldn't do this, the only person he's hell bent on hurting is himself. Trust me, please."

"I will trust you Jack, but not him." Owen picked up his PDA scanner. "Where is he?"

"On the couch by Tosh's station. Owen?"

The doctor hesitated. "What?"

"Try to be civil, he really does need our help."

Owen almost smiled at the plea. "Alright, but only because it's you asking."

He took the steps two at a time and found Ianto right where Jack said he would be. The young Welshman, still in his over coat had fallen asleep in an awkward heap his white face drawn with a deep frown. Owen carefully reached out and shook him awake.

"Come on Tea Boy, wakey wakey."

Ianto slowly came round and sat up looking dazed. Owen held up his scanner.

"How are you feeling?"

"Mmmm..OK. Tired."

Owen sighed despite everything he had said to Jack and his own anger, he still felt sorry for his patient.

"Come on, lets get this coat off and get you settled properly." He was grateful that the usually difficult Tea Boy was compliant and did exactly as Owen asked.

Twenty minutes later and Ianto was sound asleep, tucked under a pile of blankets, face buried in the pillow and snoring softly. Owen stepped away looking at his readings. Jack was hovering nearby.

"Well?"

"He'll be alright. His vitals are more like normal now and his pupils have gone back to how they should be, if he gets a decent sleep he should be feeling much better. I've given him a strong sedative to suppress the nightmares, but one of us will need to be around when he wakes up because he'll probably have one when the seds wear off." Owen glanced from Ianto to Jack. "He'll be out for a good eight hours."

"Thank you Owen. I'll get the coffee on."

"Good plan."

It was 3 am and for the third time in as many days Jack had to hold a screaming and struggling Ianto as he hauled himself out of his sleep. It took over an hour to calm him sufficiently enough to be able to just embrace his shaking body. Ianto sat there bunched up in Jack's arms mumbling incoherently. Jack didn't know what to do. It upset him seeing any one of his team in distress and he would do any thing he could to protect them. Bullets, monsters and aliens he could understand, these were things that were known quantities to him, tangible, physical things that could be dealt with, usually with a gun, or Retcon. Jack was wholly aware though that sometimes the demons were impossible to drive away because they were incomprehensible in the first place. The villagers at Brecon had taught him that, in all his long life, having faced so many dangers and terrors that one incident had left it's mark on him. The inconceivable, the unbelievable. The last few days made him realise just how different he was from the rest of the team. His immortality had hardened him to the pain of two world wars and a daily struggle with the protection of the Earth. Not a single year had gone by when some one he cared about had not died. He'd started to lose count, and worse still he'd actually started to forget the names and faces. He sighed, resting his chin on the top of Ianto's head, gently rubbing little circles against the back of his neck lost in his own losses.

Jack wondered what it was that had sent Ianto so far over the edge. It was obvious really. He was only human, a child compared to Jack, forced to cope with a world that he simply couldn't possibly deal with. Jack had seen it before, in Flanders, young men broken into pieces, their souls shattered by inhumanity. He could only guess at what had happened at Canary Wharf, Jack had seen the aftermath of the carnage and it had shocked even him. Then there had been Lisa and Ianto's desperation to keep the only thing left in his life alive. The only reason Jack hadn't killed him for that was because Ianto had done it for love. He put everything on the line just for love. Jack understood that, he'd done something equally misguided himself once.

He paused in thought for a moment as Ianto shifted beside him, pulling away from his hold. Ianto wouldn't look at him. Jack half smiled realising that even in the state that Ianto was in the young man still managed to get embarrassed about being molly coddled.

Ianto mumbled something about the bathroom and stood up.

"You OK?" Jack ventured. He was met with a slightly foggy look and a half hearted response.

"Yes, sir. I'm fine. Thank you."

Jack sighed, he'd fallen back on the 'Sir' again then. Ianto walked away in the direction of the locker rooms. Jack got up and stretched. He wandered down to the autopsy bay where Owen was still at work and stood at the top of the stairs watching for a moment before speaking.

"I was gonna do some coffee, want some?"

"Does mouse shit roll?"

Jack did a double take and let out a short burst of laughter. "One coffee coming right up."

A while later he was back, handing his medic a fresh mug of his favourite brew. It wasn't up to Ianto's high standards he realised, but Owen looked like he appreciated it anyway.

"Ok Owen so where are we at?" Jack asked glancing at the newly sewn up corpse on the table.

Owen sipped at his drink and hissed because it was still too hot. It looked cute and that made Jack smile.

"Cause of death, head trauma, due to self inflicted gouging of his own eyes out and internal cranial damage. I think some kind of pick or a screwdriver was shoved…." He demonstrated. "Right up here through the eye socket, bit like the old style lobotomy. God knows how he did it. He's got much higher levels of the same drug that Ianto had in his system. This is really…." He became lost for words for a moment. Jack waited patiently for him to continue.

"It's just weird Jack. Under normal circumstances that kind of trauma would render one unconscious pretty quickly, from the pain alone. The facial injuries indicate that he made several attempts to lobotomise himself and at least three times he was successful. I can't imagine how he managed to do that unless the drug was the cause. I've never seen anything like it before."

"Definitely self inflicted?"

Owen returned his attention to his charts. "I'm certain of it. The only contents in his stomach were approximately 100ml of water, laced with this drug. According to the police report when Ianto was arrested, he was violent and needed restraint. I'm guessing that Ianto didn't ingest as much of the drug and if he'd eaten before going to this 'trial' it may have cushioned the symptoms a bit. This thing really fucks with people. Ianto says he wasn't the only one there. So what's happened to the others?"

Jack had wondered that himself. "Anything new you can tell me about the drug?"

Owen was drinking his coffee again now. "I have no clue what it's medicinal qualities are supposed to be. There is definitely Retcon, or it's equivelant, in the formula, but they've added something else I can't identify. If I'm right it seems to trigger a fight or flight response in the brain…."

The sound of footsteps shuffling towards them stopped Owen mid sentence and Jack turned to see Ianto at the top of the stairs staring at the body on the table. He was frozen there for a moment his face unreadable and then he slumped down on to the top step and leaned against the rail. Jack and Owen both watched him for a moment. Ianto waved them off.

"I'm OK. Really." He muttered.

Jack returned his attention to Owen.

"Go on."

"Yeah, right. Ok. When one is exposed to a threatening situation, the brain kicks in with a whole bunch of chemicals. Most people usually run, some fight and some freeze. It's instinct kicking in rather than rational thought. If I'm right, this drug is designed to generate those responses artificially."

"Why would any one want to do that?" Ianto asked.

Owen shrugged glancing from to Jack to the young man huddled at the top of the steps. "I have no idea, but you just dodged a bullet on this one. I wouldn't be at all surprised if more bodies turn up. I think this is something a hell of a lot more sinister than some dodgy pharmaceutical company and we need to find out who they are."

Jack frowned at him, but it was Ianto that spoke up.

"You thinking along the lines of biological weapons?"

Owen nodded.

"So who ever organised the trial at the medical centre did some massive clean up operation after the fact to cover their tracks? Seems a bit of a waste of effort leaving that body behind, don't you think?" Ianto rubbed at his forehead. "I can't believe I've been so stupid. We have to talk to Dr Pacey Jack."

Jack shoved his hands into his pockets. "Owen, do some research on this, see if there is any way we can track this via the internet, but be cautious, don't be obvious. Ianto and I will head to London. When Tosh and Gwen get in have them do a search for any unusual deaths, missing persons etc since Christmas Eve, see if we can track any one else that was there."

Owen sagged. "Yeah, but first I'm going home for a couple of hours sleep. I'll be back in at seven."

"Thank you Owen."

The trip to London was taken via Ianto's flat, so that he could shower and get changed. Jack surveyed his young team member in silent appreciation when Ianto stepped out of his bedroom in baggy jeans, hoody and leather jacket. Ianto had struggled to find any thing that would enable him to get a sleeve over his plaster cast and Jack had sat in the lounge listening to a variety of Welsh curses before Ianto had emerged. The young man had blushed flame red when he had to ask Jack to tie the laces on his walking boots.

They didn't hit much traffic until they reached the M25 and Jack sat the wheel frustrated by the fact they were crawling at 15mph. The two of them hadn't exchanged a word through out the whole journey and Jack kept stealing glances at Ianto. Ianto just leaned against the door staring out of the windscreen, obviously light years away. It was awkward times like these that Jack wished they had a radio or a CD player in the SUV. He tapped on the steering wheel absently as once again they came to a halt, lines of break lights ahead of them, nearly all the traffic stationary in both directions. Bloody typical. Jack hated the motorways. He decided to break the uncomfortable silence.

"Tell me about your parents."

He glanced as Ianto shifted in his seat.

"What's to tell?"

Jack was determined to get him to talk. "Well, what were they like? What did they do?"

"Is this you trying to help me or are we passing the time of day here?" Ianto's tone was resentful.

Jack sighed. "A bit of both. I seem to remember you yelling at me a few months back about never taking the time to ask. So here I am taking the time. Make some effort Ianto, your attitude is really starting to piss me off."

Jack saw the guilty look on Ianto's face and smiled.

"My Mam and Tad were wonderful Jack. They loved me so much and they loved each other and I loved them. I grew up in an idyllic bubble, we were very happy and I was very fortunate. I miss them." He paused appearing to gather his thoughts, or his strength to talk, Jack wasn't sure which.

"My Tad had a small tailoring business and my Mam worked part time at Providence Park. She always liked to help people. I wasn't very good at school and all I wanted to do was work with Tad and they never pushed me to do anything but what I wanted. My Tad and I would go out to see films together on Saturdays and then I would help Mam…..It was perfect Jack. We were perfect completely untouched by the outside world. I just always expected to leave school and work with Tad as a tailor, meet a nice girl, get married, have a family. I didn't expect much and I didn't want anything more from my life."

Jack just wanted to hug him. "I'm sorry. What happened? I mean I know they passed away but….."

"It was the year of their 20th wedding anniversary. I saved up all my pocket money and my paper round earnings for that entire year so I could buy them RSC tickets and a couple of nights in a posh Hotel in London. Mam loved Shakespeare and Tad always loved to see the costumes in plays and on the old films. I just wanted for them to have a perfect memory. They were on their way home when there was an accident on the motorway, some drunk lorry driver who managed to kill three other people as well." Ianto's face was unreadable. Jack reached out to give some comfort but Ianto swatted his hand away. Jack was struggling not to be upset the rejection.

"So what happened to you?"

"I was taken in by my best mates parents. They got a solicitor to sort out everything, close down the business and sell our house. Then the bastard ran off with the money. Sean's mom and dad, they did their best, but I let them down and eventually I ran away to London. I had no idea that there were bad people in the world until then."

The traffic started moving again and Ianto repositioned himself putting his feet up on the dash. Jack smiled, typical kid, and once again he was reminded just how young Ianto actually was.

"You can't go on blaming yourself for what happened to them."

"That's what Lisa said." Ianto responded dully.

"Smart girl."

"I almost believed her, then those ghosts showed up and I was stupid enough to think that my Mam and Tad were coming back for me. I wouldn't listen to her, she kept telling that they were bad and I didn't listen to her."

Jack remembered the ghosts, they had frightened him from the first moment he had seen one.

They lapsed back into silence as Jack now steered them along the North Circular in the direction of Hangar Lane.

8:20am saw them both stepping out of the SUV into a swirling chilly, overcast day. Ianto gave the vandalised tower block a disheartened look and sighed.

"I bet the bastard lives on the top floor." He muttered. He followed Jack through the door with broken glass and stood beside Jack waiting for the lift. The bleak tiled space stank of piss and vomit and the taggers had sprayed varying obsenities on the dirty walls. Ianto unconsciously hugged at his plastered hand as he and Jack stepped in the lift. The smell was worse in here. He found himself wondering how any one could survive growing up in such a place, but remained silent observing Jack's own distaste at the environment as well as his own. They emerged onto a dimly lit corridor. The vandals had been up here too.

"Its number 57." Jack said. Ianto nodded, leading the way.

"I'll do the talking Jack." He said firmly.

Jack gave him a pissy look.

"He may not want to talk otherwise."

They found the appropriate door. Ianto tapped it and to his surprise it swung open. He briefly glanced at Jack who nodded as he took out and cocked the webley he always carried with him. Ianto cautiously pushed the door open.

"Dr Pacey? It's Ifan Davies." He called out. He heard a noise. Next thing he was on his back as some one literally ran over him straight into Jack. Ianto lurched to his feet at the sound of yelling and saw Jack running off after a retreating figure. They disappeared round the corner at the end of the corridor.

Ianto deciding that there was little he could do to help Jack, stepped into the dingy flat. In the lounge he found a middle aged man slumped over a cluttered desk a bullet hole in the back of his head. Ianto sighed and for some strange reason his grasped the dead man's shoulder a flare of grief rising in his chest with a dull ache. Regardless of the consequences this man had given Ianto reason to hope and now he was gone. Ianto carefully eased the body upright so he could get a better look at the contents on the desk. The whole room was a jumble of filing cabinets folders and boxes and a computer. It would take a while to sort through it all. No time like the present he decided.

He'd been at it for some hours before a very breathless Jack Harkness came back into the apartment. He went straight to Ianto and Ianto noted the bullet hole and blood stains in Jack's shirt.

"You OK, sir?"

Jack nodded. "Yep. You?"

"I'm fine, sir. Perhaps you should sit down for a minute." Ianto was sure that Jack had done a dying routine somewhere as the older man looked rather unwell. "I take it who ever that was got away."

Jack slumped down in the only available chair. "Yeah, he was a good shot, professional."

Ianto silently agreed. "Most likely given the state of my friend there."

"That's Pacey?"

Ianto inclined his head and tossed Jack the drivers liscence to confirm that. "I've been going through all the papers on his desk. It's going to take a while……" He was still sifting. "No wait….maybe not." He held up a large padded brown envelope with the name Ifan Davies scrawled across it. Abandoning the other documents Ianto ripped the package open extremely nervous about what he might find there. An a4 mannila folder slid out and DVD in a clear plastic case. There was also a handwritten envelope addressed to Ianto Jones Torchwood. Ianto held it up like it was about to bite him, so that Jack could see.

"I never told anyone my real name or mentioned Torchwood." He said the moment he registered Jack's glare.

"Open it Ianto." Jack's tone was dangerous.

Ianto complied. A long hand written letter came to light.

Mr Davies,

If you are reading this then it means that I am dead. As I am sure you are now well aware, the Clinical Trial I sent you to on Christmas Day was a fraud, a fake, a set up. I am so terribly sorry for putting you in such danger. I've spent months searching for some one to assist me in my investigation. The drug to which you were subjected….compound G87c/a….. is in it's final test stage.

I can only tell that my intentions to help people have always been honourable. Do no harm, my mantra. When I had to cease practice after my stroke I wanted to continue my work as a doctor. I had good relations with many respectable companies who run medication trials all over the world. I have helped many and I do not do this for money or personal gain. I do it because I can.

Unfortunately I stumbled upon something, shall we say not strictly Kosher. I went to the police with my concerns and they fobbed me off. Which leads me to you. See I'm quite good on the old IT front and I managed to find out who you really are and once I discovered Torchwood I knew you'd be able to help. You're so dam tenacious. I am sorry to have exploited you in this manner, it is a total abuse of the trust you have put in me and for that I apologise.

An old colleague contacted me about a series of drug trials that had been advertised, he knew I was involved in such things, but people have been going missing or turning up dead. I've attached everything I have in this package including a copy of the DVD surveillance disc of the trial you attended. My 'inside help' is dead, which is why I am writing this. Please track these animals down and deal with them before more people die.

Yours Humbly Dr Simon Pacey.

PS. Forgive yourself, it's the only way forward Ianto.

Ianto sat there stunned and the letter slipped from his grasp on to the floor. He didn't register the fact that Jack had got up and was calling the police, while resting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

**'This Is The Way The World Ends. Not With Bang But A Whimper.' (T.S.Elliot)**

Jack made the executive decision to involve the police as soon as he realised just how difficult and time consuming any investigation was likely to be. It was not a Torchwood matter and much to Owen's and Ianto's consternation he had handed all the evidence including the body over to the police in London. An explosive row had erupted in the Hub which ended in Ianto screaming bitterly at him because Jack had refused him permission to assist the police with their investigation. It didn't fall with in Torchwood's mandate. Owen accepted the decision with out comment. He knew Jack was right, they simply didn't have the time or the man power to commit to this and the truth was Owen was too preoccupied with the loss of Diane to care enough to do anything about it.

Ianto had fled from the Hub in a flood of fury as soon as the argument was over. Gwen and Tosh had stood back watching the whole drama unfold like some cheap play. Tosh had run out after Ianto, but he was a fast runner and she didn't stand a hope of catching him up.

Ianto slammed his front door with such force that the double glazed glass cracked from top to bottom. He sank down on the floor in the hallway and kicked the wall before subsiding into tears. He was so angry, at Jack, at himself at life really. He knew that Jack was right and he hated him for it. This was Ianto's problem, his life and he had wanted to fix it himself, make the pain go away by maybe even doing some good to make up for the crap in his life. Eventually the tears ran out. His gut ached and his head felt light. Ianto lurched to his feet roughly pulled off his Jacket and boots and went to bed with out bothering to get undressed. He lay there with the quilt bunched up and tightly pulled around him. The trouble was, Jack was right. Ianto was too personally involved, a victim no less of his own folly and the bottom line Ianto was no nearer to the answers or the cure that he so longed for. Perhaps that was why he was so angry and maybe it was just easier to blame Jack for his own failings. None of it was Jack's fault, the man had gone out of his way to help him, effectively offered a life line that Ianto had slapped away and that had hurt. Ianto chewed at the fingernails on his right hand trying to swallow down an over whelming sense of hopelessness.

When he awoke from his torturous night mare some 6 hours later he was surprised to discover that he was enveloped in Jack's arms, comforting whispers in his ears, gentle fingers running through his sweat damp hair. He didn't dare question it in case Jack went away and in that moment in time Ianto realised that the answer had been in front of him all along.


End file.
